Thoughts for 2008

The countdown list..

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest
Possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection,
Make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
Teach a person to use the Internet
And they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ..
Not really good for anything,
But you still can't help but smile
When you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
Lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00
And a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's,
People took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is Weird and people
Take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.


'Life is like a jar of Jalapeno's.
What you do today,
Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow'.